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March 5, 2018 Sara Silverstein
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For years I worked towards 4 goals to hit by 30:

  • Be in a relationship
  • Buy a Chanel bag
  • Pay off my student debt
  • Have 6mo of living expenses in savings

I thought if I hit these goals I would reach ultimate happiness. What else could someone want? I would have money, love, material goods and no debt. I would be fulfilled from all aspects. I was wrong. 

Rewind to March 2017 - I hit a version of these goals. I didn't receive a single second of happiness from this success. I willingly sacrificed my happiness on a daily basis to find minimal satisfaction in a bi-weekly paycheck. I put a glass ceiling on what I could achieve because I was interested in how many O's were in my salary. My financial adviser wouldn't let me pay off my student debt for she was in fear I would need that money in case I had a mental breakdown and needed the security net.

After my 10 hour work day, I would go home and square peg, round hole my personality into a relationship that no longer was serving me. I felt that I had to be coupled up because I was 30 years old and that is what I was supposed to be. I was dishonest to my partner and to myself.

Unhappiness was circling around me and causing me extreme anxiety. I knew if I was ever going to get out from this feeling that I was going to have to take a dive into myself to see what wasn't fulfilled. 

I had never asked myself what I truly needed or wanted from this life.


After a private Breathwork session, I sat down with a notebook and wrote out the following - I wanted to travel the world. I needed to create more and work less. I needed to connect to other people on a deeper level. I wanted to feel butterflies in my stomach again. I desired to try new things and walk through the fear of the unknown. I wanted to be seen and to feel appreciated for the work that I do for others. I needed to feel alive again.

It felt selfish to ask for these things. At some point in my life, I taught myself that others needs were to go before my own. I was functioning from an empty cup and endlessly giving. I was running on E and wondering why I felt so depleted all of the time. I realized it was time to take a breather, fill my cup up and find time for me.

Through Breathwork, a great support system and fearlessly seeking I find I am naturally in the flow now. I learned that my happiness wasn't a Chanel bag, I've still got student debt and now I'm single as hell and loving it. I don't make lists anymore contingent upon benchmarks in my age or what I believe happiness looks like. I simply ask myself - what do I need or want from this world to fulfill me? I also have to make the time to listen.

So I want you to ask yourself, are you happy? What do you need today to feel a little happier? When is the last time you asked yourself what does your soul need? Imagine what you could achieve in this lifetime if you felt fulfilled. 

Dive in and find the happiness you deserve.

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